“Where have you been?” asks my sister. “I haven’t seen a posting in a long time.” Laughing, I tell her that I really don’t have anything new to say. I have nothing to tell you all that you haven’t already heard. But, here’s what been happening lately. I was hurt deeply by someone that is close to me. For three days I sat around unhappily thinking that I have no one to even “chat” with on a daily basis. I prayed for guidance from our mother, I appealed to St. Dymphna (the patron saint of those with depression and mental disorders), I meditated. I woke up one morning and realized that I can’t be hurt by other people’s selfish agendas. My mother told me telephathically, “She can’t hurt you.” And, I believe her. So, that drama faded into the new day.
During the week preceding Thanksgiving, I paced myself and cooked a little each day. Each new dish a labor of love. Because that’s what makes my family happy and if I can do this, at least I can feel alive and part of the world. My goddaughter arrived with her “puppy” —- a very rambunctious pit bull —- and although I was so thrilled to see her, I knew our cat was going to be traumatized (which it was). I cooked all morning, getting the turkey out of the oven at around 1:45 pm. I thought, “Let me lay down for a while” until the other guests arrive and woke up 1 hour and a half later. (It takes my husband an hour to carve the turkey anyway because he has a precise method on how to do it properly?~~) My son told me I was giving cooking directions in my sleep. After dinner was served, everyone completely satisfied, I felt that overwhelming fatigue again and had to go upstairs to lay down for 20 minutes. I didn’t fall into a deep sleep, I could hear the happy laughter downstairs and that made me smile. I prayed for strength to get through dessert. Now, let me ask you, who does that? Later, after dessert was over, I fell asleep on the living room floor. Throughout all of this madness, no one seemed to mind that I was just passed out on the floor so they just kind of walked around me.
I slept for 3 whole days after this event. Narcolepsy — you gotta love it. It is so bizarre. I am so bizarre. My life is so bizarre.