I went to bed last night at round 11:00 PM last night and slept until 4:00 AM. The house is quiet, only the refrigerator hum breaks the silence. This has been my nighttime sleeping habit for several weeks now no matter what I do to try to change it. So, I've come to accept the fact that I'm only going to get 5 to 6 hours of sleep at night and wake up before the birds are up. Maybe I was a farmer in a past life :) Anyway, I have developed some rituals that help me cope with this new reality of mine. I make my coffee and by cup number 2, I can usually get my thoughts together enough to write a little. Then, I light the candles on my meditation alter and pray for God's blessings for me and others I know who are suffering. I talk to my mother and thank her for all she taught me about faith and love and charity. I think a lot in the mornings -- I don't know if this is good or bad -- because sometimes my thoughts are bleak about the future. Other times, I'm determined to make the most of the day through little acts of kindness or doing some yoga, taking a walk once the sun's come up. The winter's are hard for me even though I live in a moderate temperature zone but the shorter days do affect my energy levels. So, I might as well get in as much as I can in the morning cause I'm pretty much a wet mop at night. My husband still has the energy of a 40-year-old. He runs everyday, plays in a band on the weekends, keeps our children on an even keel when they call in the afternoon and I'm sound asleep. I don't know what I would do without him. He forces me not to be such a "crab." (My sign is Cancer and I tend to shut myself up and apart from people) We still keep our Sunday dinner ritual which makes us all feel grounded and supported. And my kids love my cooking.
They're all starting to talk about Thanksgiving already. The cooking part doesn't stress me out because I have a pretty good system -- it's the food shopping (going out into public). I think I'm getting agoraphobia as I get older. I hate to leave my house and be with people in stores. I'm afraid I will have some kind of panic attack or cataplexy in the store. It's like everything I do has to be planned down to the minute or I might get too tired to continue on. That's why my husband has started to accompany me on food shopping trips. He knows it overwhelms me. What a silly thing to be overwhelmed about, right? I just call it Narcolepsy Fallout.