Hi, ya’ll. My Mother In-law passed away yesterday at 3:45pm she was 83years old. I tell you what word’s just seem to not come to say how I feel. But my body seems to have it covered. When we made it to the nursing home just five minutes after she passed away. We were able to be right there in the room with her… I set on the bed, my husband in the chair beside the bed are kid’s and dog where there too. They understood that she passed away and they just told their Daddy it would be ok. My narcolepsy hit me ten minutes after we where there and then 20 minutes after I wakeup from the first one. After the second one my dad was there to get the kid’s. So, they could stay with them for the night. He also took my dog home cause I didn’t know how long it would be before we would get home. After they left my narcolepsy hit me again. Then on are way home I crashed again. After we got home, he left to get food and my dog put me back to sleep again. After I ate I got my charcoal and paint brush. And I just let the picture come that needs to be. Then it was 10:00pm. I guess what I’m trying to say is. My body knows how to knock me out. But also when you can’t find word’s to say how you feel. Find something that can say it for you. When I use the charcoal, things just show up and everyone sees something different. I hope this helps someone. Got to get sleep. Love, Rachel
P.S. remember one day at a time.
Rachel, I’m so sorry. There really aren’t any words to express those numb, empty, grief-stricken times, are there? Your description of the scene reminded me a lot of when my Mom passed away, and how I felt at the time.
I do think our brains and bodies protect us at life’s most difficult times. Your body and brain knew that you needed some respite from the situation, and it did what was necessary. I remember being completely stunned, kind of in a fog, but being able to do what was necessary. I drove. I called the funeral home. I emailed relatives. But it was as if I was on autopilot. And a good thing too: several weeks later, when it was all behind me, that’s when I went to pieces. But I was prepared for that, and it was OK.
I’m sure your post will help someone. I don’t even have narcolepsy, but it helped me! It reminded me of the strength and resilience of the human mind and body, and how we need to accept ourselves as we are. This board is quiet at the moment, but some day there will be a member who reads your lovely reflective post and says “Yes, I know what Rachel means. She gets it.”
Thanks for posting!
Seenie from ModSupport