Every time I try to live a normal life, visiting family and friends, going about daily chores, I experience the fallout of narcolepsy. What exactly do I mean -- fallout? The aftermath of pushing myself to do normal activities. The depression, the fatigue, the physical and emotional exhaustion, the sleepiness and the sleeplessness. It doesn't make sense. Why should I feel exhausted and sleepy all day long, then, find it impossible to fall asleep at night? I take my meds -- I'm a good girl. When my brain signals to me that I am going to fall asleep (and I'm home), I take a nap. My medications are supposed to suppress dream sleep. So, why do I continually experience terrifying dreams day in and day out? These questions with no answers wear me down. I know it is time to pray and meditate. I have to give it up to a higher power. I can't do it by myself.